ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO LOVE YOURSELF? I AM.
As I am here in Italy, hosting the SimplyBe. Magic Mastermind retreat, I keep thinking to myself:
“How did I manifest this crazy, transformative event halfway around the world?”
“How did I get here?”
“How do I do all this crazy shit that I’m doing?”
Over the past year, I’ve gotten this last question a lot.
People I haven’t seen for a couple months, (even people I see all the time), will come up to me and say, “Jessica, you’re everywhere. I see you and your company doing so many things. How do you have the courage to do it all?”
I always feel a little taken aback when I hear this. I don’t consider myself all that “courageous,” and if I’m going to be totally honest, I am—at my core—a true introvert and would much rather be alone these days than at a cocktail party. And even though I always tell clients that everybody’s watching and it feels like common sense to recognize this, it’s surprising (and sometimes uncomfortable) to see how much people actually pay attention to...me.
I have been unpacking this a lot lately.
For the majority of my life, I was not comfortable with who I was. I felt unworthy and insecure. I lived in scarcity. I surrounded myself with people who made me feel small. It took becoming an entrepreneur—truly following my own bliss and starting my own company—to begin to figure out what it looked like to, well, love myself.
You see, I had basically ZERO business experience when I first became an entrepreneur. Becoming an entrepreneur forced me to believe in myself. Which forced me to put a value on what I did, what I knew, and how I could help people. Which forced me to increase my sense of self-worth. Which net resulted in more self-appreciation, more self-confidence, and thus, true self-love.
That, I believe, is at the essence of my so-called courage.
In fact, it is my firm belief that fully and whole-heartedly loving yourself is hands-down the most courageous fucking thing ANYONE can do.
Here’s the caveat I want you to remember: I did not grow to love myself overnight. It’s been a journey of daily micro-actions. I have built-in rituals, practices, and a tribe that have helped me find my passions and also myself. I chased my bliss, disregarding money or social success (although those came later and are greatly appreciated, they were never my objective), and the biggest “return” I got in my process was learning how to love myself more.
So, as I too wonder how I do it all—how I work crazy long hours without days off for months, how I travel around the world, leaving my team in charge of SimplyBe., how I host workshops and speak on panels with time I sometimes don’t have and live this so-called “courageous” life —I know that all of these things have gotten me closer to my purpose.
Yes, life isn’t perfect, and I still have dark days (lots of them, in fact) and times when I forget my own worth, but I spend WAY less time than I used to worrying about how skinny I am, focusing on mean girls or toxic men, wondering what people think of my hair, my clothes, my car, and my work, because I love myself for who I am, not just what I do. I have stepped more into my truth because I pour my energy into building a life I love. Not a perfect job, relationship, or body—there is no such thing—but my own imperfect, messy, chaotic, fast-paced, global, challenging, stressful, blissful, confusing, beautiful life.
On my terms.
My wish for you, my beautiful, wonderful, and capable tribe is that you find something that awakens YOUR courage. Chase your passions with abandon, focus solely on building something you love, and in that creation process, I guarantee that you will find that you begin to love yourself more, too.
Let your truth take you to unexpected places. Like a countryside villa in Italy on a bright Wednesday morning in May. Because you won’t regret it.
I know that I don’t.