Riddle me this, friends: Why do people feel the need to negatively comment? Talk shit? Gossip?

  • On social media.
  • To their friends.
  • To themselves.

We all have “hooks,” whether we realize it or not. They come from people you know closely, and also from some you’ve never met.  “Hooks” are energy, perceptions, and vibrations that are casted onto you based on other people’s own projections. They are their OWN stories. Not yours.

Remember that.

In a world where so much of our lives are lived out there (AKA: social media), it’s impossible not to expect some backlash. For the last 10 years, I have lived my life there, built my business there and have grown my network there.

Instead of succumbing to the comparison game, I have instead focused my energy to utilize social media to profoundly, gratefully and joyfully expand my business and my life. On that same token, I don’t place a ton of merit on content that simply doesn’t speak to me. (I recognize that a lot of it is garbage, and I have become super keen on seeking only what is valuable to me.) Most of all, I simply don’t subscribe to the haters. I don’t waste my energy thinking about those “hooks. That’s because I know in my soul they don’t belong to me.

But... when that backlash it recently did, I’ll be the first to admit it can feel devastating.

This isn’t a new concept. While “negativity” used to be mainly confined to celebrities or people in the public eye, now anyone is fair game.

✓ Men

✓ Women

✓ Women Against Women

✓ Children

✓ CEOs

✓ Minorities

You get the gist.

Everyone has an opinion, and everyone voices them. Whether your child comes home crying because of a cyber bully, or you just read a nasty comment that someone left for one of your friends, it can feel hurtful and highly unnecessary. But, in today’s world, you just have to take the good with the bad, right?

Hell no you don’t.

I got my “dose of reality” in this during the success of CheekyChicago. People who were close to me wanted to dim my light. It hurt, it was personal, and it made me question myself on more than one occasion. I sadly still encounter that energy from people close to me. The difference now is I recognize it quicker. I don’t become a victim to it. I remove those people from my inner circle. Clean and simple.

But the Internet is a little different. You don’t always have as much control over what’s coming AT YOU.

As I still live my life out loud on social media, I receive lots of online messages. Most of them are positive. Some of them are downright rude. Sometimes, I ignore them.

And sometimes, I don’t.

Recently, I encountered a true Facebook troll (fake account name, fake photos, fake everything), who took the time to take highly personal digs at me, my clients, and my company. Normally, I’d sweep it under the rug, but not this time.

This was too pointed, aggressive and nasty to ignore.

Instead of responding back with more hate, I decided to write this blog.

It’s time we talk about it.

It’s time we call out the haters for exactly what they are: Bored. Jealous. And operating from a place of fear, scarcity, comparison and a lack of gratitude and of love.

Or as I recently ironically read on Instagram:

“You will never be criticized by people doing more than you. You will be criticized by people doing less.”


Here’s the truth: Jealousy is an ugly thing, and it NEVER has anything to do with you. If someone reacts so strongly to something you are doing or saying, realize that’s their issue—not yours.

And then...

Send them L O V E.

No really. This isn't a swan song. You must respond with love and MEAN IT. This is the most important part. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, feel love in your heart, breathe it out and send it their way.

It’s not always easy to react with love and kindness, but if you want to be the type of person who walks her talk, then you have to. Instead of getting angry or hurt, I choose to assume that these people need more light in their days. More purpose. More love. More laughter. And it can start with you. Even if you don’t ever communicate or respond to your trolls (and you don’t need to), they can still be positively affected by YOUR energy. Release the hooks. Send light. Remember that the butterfly effect is real, and it starts with you. Every single day.

To the trolls out there, the gossipers, the “haters:”  my message for you is this:

I see you.

I want more for you.

I want you to step away from your computer and to go live this beautiful opportunity called your life.

I am not a robot.

Neither are you.

You and I are actually the same.

I yearn to be seen.

I know you do, too.

I see you.

I yearn to be heard.

I know you do, too

I hear you.

I yearn to be loved.

I know you do, too.

I love you.

I am grateful for you.

I really am.

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